Loza

2006-11-03T22:39:00.000+11:00

Desirable traits in a man

Personality: Looking for an extrovert, with a well developed sense of humour, and who is not always serious. I like someone who can express themselves emotionally, or at least speak what is on his mind. I prefer leaders over followers, or someone who is equally dominant. I don’t mind if he is very ad hoc, or structured and organized, although spontaneity is more fun. I need a man who is funny and will make me smile and laugh. I dislike someone being serious too often talking about deep issues. I like someone being supportive, being behind regardless of the situation. He will have to be intellectual, in a sense that he can teach me things I don’t know about. I like someone who is honest, and forthright with me. He will tell me how it is. Someone with a carefree attitude is ideal, because I am also easy going myself, and worrying shortens your lifespan. It is important for him to be responsible and can be relied upon. Someone who is talkative to keep the conversation flowing, and who I can talk with until the late hours of the night, and will always have lots to say. Some whom is confident is very appealing as it is just an attractive quality.

Physical characteristics: Shades of brown, or dark coloured hair. I prefer longer hair over shorter hair. Eye colour can be blue, green, hazel, or brown. Just has to have those eyes with a sparkle in them, or eyes that you can stare into for hours because of their colour. Would like him to be no more than 6 years older than me. Borderline 7. And body type. Well he has to be taller than me, and bigger than me. More athletic than fat preferably, or at least toned. Incredibly nice voice. One that you can close your eyes, and just listen to the sound of his voice in your ears. Preferably not hairy on chest, back nor arms.

It’s okay to be picky right? I don’t want to settle for second best.

2006-09-18T21:44:00.000+10:00

Vent #1
I cannot believe that Jamie Oliver is having his show tonight and tomorrow night at the Regent Theatre. Here in MELBOURNE! I had heard he would be doing shows in Oct/Nov. I am so disappointed! If I had bothered checking like a month ago on Ticketek I could have bought tickets for me and my mum. She would have loved to have gone. Same with me. I think he’s a darl. Very disappointed! It’s not likely he’ll be doing another show in a while, especially not in Melbourne. Geez. I’d love to go to his new restaurant Fifteen when it opens.

Vent #2
I was angry at my work mate today. We close at 5:30pm. At 10 to 6, he wanted me to do an interest free application. I told him that I wasn’t going to be doing it because it’s his sale. And then he’s like “You have to do it, you’re the finance girl, DO YOUR JOB” This is in front of the customer too by the way. I’m like “I really think you should be doing it.” “No, you are going to be doing it” It looks very unprofessional and foolish to be arguing in front of a customer, so I sat down and just did it. After just barely beginning the application, I see him with his jacket on and bag on his shoulder, and he’s walking out the door. Oh geez that got me angry. Poor customer got declined anyway, but point is he should’ve stayed. I had words to my boss afterwards. My boss was angry about the situation already, but when I told him exactly what had happened, he was furious. They’re going to have words tomorrow. But, I’m just sick of this work mate and his antics towards me. No respect towards me at all. I haven’t done anything, it’s just the fact that he has no respect towards women. But that shit ain’t on.

2006-09-16T21:47:00.000+10:00

1.7 Gigahertz processing power my butt. I sometimes think that I can think quicker than my laptop does. I could do half as many things as my laptop could in the same amount of time. Figure out which algorithm you're going to use to decide which process has higher priority and stick to it. Geez. Common sense CPU!

There's an ongoing thought process in my head though. It's kind of in a dead lock state I could say. Keeps waiting for a process to come, but since that process is waiting for another process, everything is in hold mode, and nothing is happening. That is, of course, I am waiting for some guy at work *cough* PD *cough* to commit to something he won't since he doesn't know what that word means, and therefore means, I cannot carry on doing anything else, because I am stuck up in a world where I am waiting for nothing that is ever going to happen.I tell myself constantly, that I don't want him, I don't like him; That he doesn't treat women right, he is a slob, he has no respect for me, hell - he doesn't even acknowledge me anymore, because he is in as awkward a situation as I am.

Everyone has consoled me. I got cornered in a room, to be told that he doesn't like commitment, he is an unhappy sod, who is always sick, because all he does is drink beer every night. I've been told, that I am too good a person to fall into a lifestyle similar to that (ironic that I was drinking a beer being told this), that, I deserve much much better than that, I deserve someone that will treat me right, and someone who won't take advantage of my niceness.

Time to get over him. It definately helped today that he didn't look very good at all. It's so hard, that's all. I tell myself over and over, yes we never even really had anything. I've never really been lucky in love, and I fell hard. So hard, I hit my bottom, and it hurt. For this, I despise him so. If I was evil enough, I wish I could just run him over. But I'm not... Damn my niceness. Damn it a lot.

It's Saturday night. I don't need someone who's number one priority is to watch the Doggies play. Hell, he goes for the Bombers. Geez. And no, it's not important at all that I'm lying in bed writing this at 9:30pm at night. I had a tiring day, and probably too many beers, mixed with one of my mum's lime Breezers (God I hope she never reads this blog). Point is, I am moving on soldier, away from this era of my life. On to something better, as to what... That's yet to be discovered.

Someone also told me at work, that I have to find out what is bothering me so much about myself, before I can expect to love another person. Someone older, and apparently more wiser than me. I don't know what it is. I'm not sure what I am so insecure about. But apparently, her impression from my drunkeness ramblings from last week. Is that I wasn't good enough for PD, and I didn't know what was wrong with me for him not to like me. I think that's just a general insecurity about myself, and lack of confidence. It can't be helped. That's how I've always been. And I like to be a humble person, I hate people who are queen or king dick. It ticks me off slightly.

Well it's time to hit the hay. 40 months interest free anybody? It ends 1st of October.

2006-08-31T11:08:00.000+10:00

Man, my immune system is horribly CRAP. I am sick again! Right before Elena’s birthday too. But not to worry, I am going to soldier on. *Starts humming Codral jingle* But I’m determined to get better by overdosing on Vitamin C, Vitamin E, and Codral by the weekend!!

Yesterday I found out some interesting facts about myself. Well, more so, my roots. I am like Australian as Australian can get, having all of my grandparents and great grandparents being born in Australia, minus my granny who was born in Scotland. But some of my ancestors came out on a ship called the Northumbria in 1853 to migrate to Australia. I am a FOB! Woo hoo! And most of my other ancestors/relatives live in Tasmania, and Ballarat, so my mum told me not to marry anyone from those areas to be on the safe side from having warped children. It’s just interesting to find out where you come from! And cool thing is, I have a lot of ancestors named Ethel, Etheren, Walter, Florence, Mildred, and Alma. That’s bloody golden!

Hmm what else is new and exciting? Nothing much really. I’m just keeping it on the low down, and being a hermit as of lately. Got a side project I’m working on to help my boss out, and reading a lot of books. It feels like I’m joining my dad with the retirement scheme, excpet… then I have to go to work 5-6 days a week.

On another note, this is the kitty cat that lives in my backyard along with Felix (the other random kitty cat that also lives in my backyard) They’re BFF (best friends forever).

2006-08-24T22:37:00.000+10:00

Can somebody say shopping spree?

Revlon translucent nail polish - $11.95
Skin Doctors pimple treatment cream - $24.95
Johnsons holiday skin face cream - $9.99
Innoxa buttermilk satin sheen - $23.95
Neutrogena SkinClearing cleanser/mask - $13.99
Dotti black boots - $69.95
Myer green dress - $91.90
Lolitta Juanita singlet top - $65.00
Sportsgirl light blue tunic top - $49.95

Total: $361.63

Oh my gosh, I feel a little guilty on splurging so much. I don’t even need half of the things I purchased. Ahhh I just can’t stop myself. I’m bad, very bad. Well at least I know I’m not going shopping again for a VERY VERY long time!

2006-08-17T16:45:00.000+10:00

This is the reason why I love customers. A customer came up to me holding up a DV tape for a video camera. She asked me if I had any of the VHS tapes that you could slot the tape in to play it on the television, and explained to me that she had just called up and someone in Electrical said we stocked them, although she couldn’t remember their name. I said, “No we don’t stock them, but I’ll just ask in computers to see if they might have any.” Computers didn’t stock it either, so I come back to the customer, and told her that we didn’t have any of those tapes, but I’d be happy to order one in for her. She cut me off, and started screaming, “No on the phone.. the guy said he had some. I just droveeee all the way here to get it!!” “Sorry, but we don’t stock them, I can order you one in, and it would come in the next few working days.” She slammed the cassette tape she was holding onto the glass cabinet. The tape case broke to pieces. “F*CKING HELL!” She stormed off. I was shell shocked. I hadn’t been that ill treated for a while, I just stood in my place with my mouth gaping wide. I was only trying to help that damn lady. Took me a while to regain my posture, before I called out to her, “Have a nice day”, with a big pleasant smile on my face. Ahh.. retail :)

On another note, good old Harvey Norman Extended Warranty company. I purchased my Canon Ixus V3 (back in 2002) and it was rooted badly, got sent away for repair, they were unable to repair it, so they have now replaced it with a brand spanking new Canon Ixus 60!!! 6.0 megapixels, 2.5” LCD display screen. It’s a bloody sweet deal. People are crazy not to take out an extended warranty.

2006-07-28T23:21:00.000+10:00

*pinched from old xanga, april 22nd, 2006*

"There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy - Dante

I always thought that being lonely was a horrible feeling, until I felt the true meaning of it. I guess I better get used to it though, as I know that this is only the beginning.

Why is it true with that saying that the one person that makes you cry, is the one person that can make you stop as well. Not that I'm crying over the situation, I'm just constantly saddened by the thoughts of it. Why am I so unlucky in love. I take things too seriously, and do not go with the flow. Once I have my heart set on somebody, it's hard for me to readjust to the reality that no he doesnt like me, and that I'm going to be single and lonely for ever."

***

Oh my gosh, what on earth? It's like... I read my own mind. That is exactly what I am feeling now.. Over the exact same thing. What is wrong with me? Get a grip, build a bridge. Get over that incredibly attractive, well respectable STUPID male.
GEEEEEZ for Christ's sake Lauren, you.. are BETTER than him (in some way... yet to be known to me) and. it's time for you to GET OVER HIM!!!)

AHHHHHHH!!!!! I HATE YOU P _ _ _ / D _ _ _!!!! Who the hell has two first names for their first names and surname... ... Erh.. yeh.. I need to find something.. ANYTHING wrong with him.. He's perfect in all ways that I can see fit... If only he was an asshole.. then I wouldn't have a problem in hating him.

2006-07-26T17:04:00.000+10:00

Random afternoon thoughts:

3:25pm – I wonder what ever happened to Zbych Trofimiuk from Channel 2’s Spellbinder, he was really attractive!
3:59pm – Crap! I didn’t stop off the bank to close my account
4:09pm – I forgot to buy Arnott’s Cruskits at the shop
4:35pm – I want to buy those Royal Elastic shoes I saw at Street Exchange
4:58pm – I’m bored. I’m going to watch Chicken Little.

2006-07-17T22:48:00.000+10:00

I have already fallen out of the habit of blogging. If only exciting things would happen in my life. I work everyday, what is so exciting about that? I don’t like seeing most customer’s faces, letting alone blogging about their stupidity. I’m very glad I have the next 2 days off, to regain my sanity. Definitely need the time out, got so many things to do. Tax returns being a high priority!

I had a dream about _ _ _ _ last night. The setting was Harvey Norman (how suprising, I think it’s a sign I’ve spent too much of my time there!) But anyhow, in my dream, I saw him in the warehouse. I went up to him and we started chatting. And the next moment, he was gone, and I asked around, and people told me that he had resigned from work. For some reason, there was a photo of him, smiling, with his hair long like it used to be when I first met him. Someone found it, and gave it to me. In the dream, I thought, “Oh my god” coming to the realisation that I didn’t have his new phone number, or didn’t know his new address meaning that I’m never going to see him again. I woke up by then; It was such a vivid dream. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!? Geez. Last time I’m ever going to fall for somebody. Ever!

2006-07-11T11:12:00.000+10:00

Why don’t I listen to my mother’s advice? Do not drink excessively in front of work colleagues. I never listen to good advice, and it seems as though I never learn from bad past experiences.

Everyone still had a really good night regardless, I just feel a little guilty if I did spoil anyone’s night somewhat. Just because vodka was around, I didn’t have to drink it. Yeah right, that’s not an option.

I guess that night, I just got my hopes up. Really badly up. I thought he’d be there. And he never showed up. It was probably a really good thing he didn’t show up. Imagine he saw me in that state. He probably would never have talked to me again.

I’m just glad all of my work mates took care of me. Without them, I would’ve been a crazy drunken wreck. I mean.. more of a crazy drunken wreck. Something to put behind my past and move on!

PS. Whatever you do, do not go near jager bombs. They f**k you right up!

Overall, the venue was a good place. Kinda seedy and dark perhaps, but I was already seeing double by the time we got there. It was at the Gunn Island Brew Bar, in Middle Park.

A night to remember, at the very least.

2006-07-06T19:59:00.000+10:00

Mum: “Where did you go last night?”
Me: “I went to Nicola’s house.” *lie*
Mum: “What did you do there?”
Me: “I watched dvds and then went home.”
Mum: “How come your clothes had all fluff and cat hair on them?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Mum: “Where did you really go?”
Me: “Nicola’s house.”
Mum: “Did you go somewhere else as well?”
Me: “No.”
Mum: “Did you go to Elena’s house?”
Me: “No!”
Mum: “Why is their all shit on your clothes then?”
Me: “I don’t know”
Mum: “What clothes did you wear over there?”
Me: “Why?!”
Mum: “So I know which ones to wash?”
Me: “They all need washing anyway.”
Mum: “But I have to wash them separately because they have cat hair all over them.”
Dad: “What’s the difference? They all need washing anyway.”
Mum: “But then the cat hair goes over all the clothes and gets embedded in them.”
Dad: “That’s ridicoulous. We’re missing Big Brother.”
Mum: “What clothes did you wear? Just tell me!”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Mum: “What did you fucking wear? I know you wore your jeans, and your jacket, but what top underneath?”
Me: “Oh geez. You have to wash everything anyway so what does it matter?”
Mum: “You just threw all your clothes on the ground all together.”
Me: “So?”
Mum: “Just tell me, I can’t cook dinner until you tell me?”
Me/Dad: “What’s the big deal? Who cares?”
Mum: “I do.”
Me: “Oh my god geez, I wore my green stripey top then. Far out!”
Mum: *stares and walks off*

I don’t know anyone that has to put up with the same crap I do.

2006-07-01T22:13:00.000+10:00

Random things that annoy me

Optus – Why can’t I check my bill online to see the current charges? If I am on a capped plan, I should be able to see the total usage costs, and how much money I have remaining until I will go over my cap. So now I have to be very wary each time I make a call, just so I don’t go over my cap, until I get my bill. I should be able to check it online, and receive a hard copy in the mail if I please.

Telemarketers – For goodness sake, if I say I am not interested at the very beginning, do NOT keep harping on about your product or cause that you are trying to market because obviously I am not INTERESTED and will hang up very very soon. I don’t even wish for you to call me.

People – It is commn courtesy to thank or at least acknowledge me if I help you out. I think it is really poor form to just to assume that I don’t mind working overtime, and that I don’t mind doing other people’s dirty work, just because they are too lazy to do it themselves. It’s only one or two people I noticed doing it, and I have lost a bit more respect for them now, but it is their flaw for not being courteous in the first place.

2006-06-27T17:53:00.000+10:00

Coughing and wheezing again. What is wrong with my health? I’ve had a chest infection three times in the past 3 months. I should really start looking at my diet and concentrating on eating healthier, exercising etc etc blah blah blah. I think if a health nutritionist actually broke down my diet and saw what crap I have been eating, they would probably have a heart attack. Let me give an example of the products from the past few days I can remember consuming:

Saturday
3 cups of coffee
1 hotdog
1 can of V
1 chicken soup with toast
2 bottles of Carlton Draught beer

Sunday
2 cups of coffee
1 hotdog
1 can of Red Bull
1 bottle of Crown Lager
1 fish and chips serving

Monday
3 cups of coffee
1 sausage roll
1 bar of Cadbury chocolate
1 dinner consisting of carrots, potato mash, beans, and lamb chops
1 ginger and lemon tea
½ a canister of Pringles
½ a block of Heaven white raspberry chocolate
1 can of Red Bull

Tuesday
5 steamed dim sims
½ a block of Cadbury marble chocolate
1 cup of tea
…

It sounds worse than it seems. Excuse myself while I drink some Benadryl to soothe my throat and reduce my coughing.

2006-06-19T22:52:00.000+10:00

After being in a workplace for a number of months, you would think that the average person would learn the procedures and have some idea of what to do in their position, right..? Wrong! This guy is an absolute spanner and a half. You don't need any more tools in your toolbox, because this guy is the complete tool! I can't look him in the face anymore, because he irritates me that much! He lacks basic communication skills, and is very pessimistic, and likes to break social norms, and invade people's proximity zones. One fine example to display his inability to do pretty much anything includes, him walking up to me with his customer, and only blurting out, "KFH320", which to me, means pretty much nothing. Although luckily I do have some brains so I interpreted that as a Kambrook Fan Heater, which I gathered the customer was wanting to purchase. But, because of his lack of communication skills, he did not say to me, "Lauren, I didn't create an invoice for the customer because I am too stupid to know how to, so could you please do it for me, only after you've already written up a cash sale for the customer, because I did not tell you that the customer was picking it up from the warehouse, and only after I didn't tell you the price had changed from $29 to $25, because I was not even aware of the big fat yellow ticket sticking on the product in the first place." And another thing he did to me today, is bring another customer to my desk, with a finance interest free sales voucher. All he says is, "Can you get the approval done?" No, he did not tell me that furniture had just done an application for the interest free terms for the customer, no he did not tell me that furniture had included the electrical amount's side in the contract, no he did not tell me that the customer also wanted to purchase a heater as well on interest free terms, and he had not written up an invoice for that yet either, and no he did not tell me that the price he had put in for the customer was incorrect, so if I had not run down to the opposite end of the store to find out that the customer had done a contract with furniture, and found out that electrical's amount was also included in the contract, I would not have known a single thing due to that incompetent, stupid, THING, which is now commonly referred to as 'IT' by my colleagues and I. Boy I sure let him have it, as soon as I finished that mess up today!

Four more days to my exam. I believe that I have not studied enough, and have a lot more material to cover before the exam. Tonight I had a productive night of procrastinating. I braided my hair:

And, I found where my workplace was on Google Earth:

A good night's work. Tomorrow, I must study more effectively I think.

2006-06-15T14:00:00.000+10:00

Mark Sholtez has the smoothest voice. In comparison, I can say that his voice sounds to my ears as hazelnut caramel Heaven chocolate tastes in my mouth. His voice definitely melts in my ears. It’s so soothing, and serene. His dress sense is sophisticated too. Anybody wearing a pinstriped blazer in a casual attire gets my thumbs up. Does anybody want to see him perform on the 15th or 16th July at Bennett’s Lane? Please!!!!! If that wasn’t a desperate plea, I don’t know what is. And considering nobody reads this blog (minus that random named Peter; hi Peter!), I think I should tell people in real life, because I really really want to go. Hope tickets aren’t sold out yet. But I don’t want to buy tickets in case, I can’t find anybody to go with.

If you don’t like the sound of his music, at least go to see his stylish appearance!

In other news, I completed one exam today, which means ONE MORE TO GO. I have to actually study for this one, because it’s the elective I failed last year, and do not wish to fail again. The exam is very hard, with lots of possibilities of questions. The lecturer is not the kindest either. I went to the revision lecture, but for those people that didn’t go to the revision lecture, he wasn’t going to post any of it on the webpage. Which totally sucks, because I’m not a very fast handwriter, and it becomes illegible when I try to write quickly. So I’m scribbling down all the “possible exam questions” and by the time I’m only half way through the slide, he has already changed it to the next slide. Ack! Well I need a Pass, and then I’ll graduate!

2006-06-08T12:21:00.000+10:00

FINISH THE SENTENCE

IS MISSING: The food I wish to eat for lunch.

I AM LISTENING TO: John Butler Trio – Zebra at the moment. It’s quite catchy!

MAYBE I SHOULD: Start studying so I don’t fail my last semester at university so I can graduate.

I LOVE: Chocolate, coffee, beer, and really, really, GOOD food.

MY BEST FRIENDS: Are pretty cool. Can depend on them most of the time.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND: Why most people don’t have common sense. Common sense, it turns out, is not too common.

I LOST: One of my diamante earrings because it fell down the drain

PEOPLE SAY: A lot of random uninteresting things. Sometimes they say so many things, it hurts my ears to listen to them speak.

THE MEANING OF MY SCREEN NAME IS: loza.. is a derivative from Lauren. Where nicknames have to be more than 4 characters long, I never know what to put, so I put pika on the front of loza, becoming pikaloza. I used to like Pokemon. No questions asked.

LOVE IS: Non-existant in my life.

SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE IS: Dying.

I WILL ALWAYS: Wish that some things in my life were different.

FOREVER SEEMS: Like what Kenny said, A pretty goddamn long time.

I NEVER WANT TO: Go against in what I believe and stand for.

MY MOBILE PHONE: Is a Samsung Z-500 which I wish was a white Samsung Z-510.

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING: I want to go back to sleep.

I GET ANNOYED WHEN: Things don’t go my way, because I can sometimes be a stubborn little bitch. I also get annoyed when people don’t return my belongings. Also, the small little things annoy me as well, like when the vending machine eats my money, or the printer runs out of paper etc.

PARTIES: Are always good when there is a lot of free piss, and a free feed.

2006-06-04T22:29:00.000+10:00

EVERYONE HAS THEIR FIRSTS:

FIRST real best friend: Elena

FIRST school: Coomoora Primary School

FIRST funeral: In 1992, for my Grandpa

FIRST pet: Her name was Sherry, and she was a lovebird, and lived on to have many incest children. Her incest children are still alive today.

FIRST big trip: Big trip.. I guess when I first went overseas to Thailand in 2001.

FIRST fight: Would’ve been with my sister at a very young age.

FIRST celeberty crush: I think Jesse Spencer when he first appeared on Neighbours.

FIRST time out of the country?: Thailand when I was 17.

FIRST job: McDonald’s! I was a check out chick (I still am, but not at Maccas lol)

FIRST myspace friend: Tom. Then it was James because I think he was the only person I knew on MySpace at the time. Infact I still don’t really know anyone on MySpace

NOW EVERYONE HAS HAD THERE LASTS:

LAST person you hugged: What an awful memory to bring up. It would’ve been him, the last time that I went to see him. A long, sad and desperate hug, where we both knew that we were never going to see each other again on that level.

LAST car ride: Today I drove myself home from work!

LAST time you cried: Not sure. Have not cried for a while now. Have not spilt a tear for a while now. Been fairly well behaved

LAST movie you watched: I think it would’ve been The Da Vinci Code at the cinemas. No actually, I think it was the other day when I went to watch Final Destination 3 with my sister. What a laugh of a movie.

LAST food you ate: Seafood crepes at Latino’s in Hampton, as well as an entrée of Kilpatrick Oysters. Yum!

LAST item you bought: At JAG, it was a black V-Neck top for $49.95. Saved $20!! That wasn’t the reason I bought it. I bought it because I had the spending urge.

LAST shirt worn: Oh, that would be my Flexirent shirt. It’s the weekend so we wear our RED shirts, instead of our Harvey Norman shirts. Don’t ask why.

LAST phone call: I believe it was a customer at work when I was taking the switchboard to be put through to White Goods. I couldn’t be bothered answering the question, so I transferred them through straight away :)

LAST text message: My boss smsing me at 4am in the morning to let us all know he had a baby boy!!

LAST thing you touched: I’m touching my laptop as we speak.

LAST funeral: Couple of months ago. My dad’s cousin’s husband passed away.

LAST time at the mall: Not last night, not the night before, but the night before that. Thursday late night shopping woo!!

LAST time you were excited for something: Dunno. When I finished work, and grabbed my after work beer. Also, during the afternoon, when Richard from work made me a coffee, and brought it to my desk. I didn’t even have to move a muscle. Was very excited/happy about that.

LAST person you saw: Mother dearest

LAST thing you drank: A mocha latte

LAST person you had a fight with: Hmm not too sure. I’m one of those conflict avoiding people, so I never really have ‘fights’. They’re more of a ‘approach the topic in a very light calm mannered kind of way’.

LAST time you were honestly happy?: Definitely earlier this year when things were going swell for me. Now I’m back to where I started. Single, lonely, and no one to love.

2006-06-03T19:13:00.000+10:00

Words to describe The Cat Empire gig @ Dizzy’s on 29.05.06: Intimate, friendly, very cosy atmosphere, great songs, bubbly crowd, awesome time, good friends, few relaxing drinks. I cannot believe I had not seen them previously before this. I hope my friends all enjoyed it as much as I did. Well probably not as much as I did, because the only Cat Empire songs they had heard were basically just Hello, and The Car Song.

So it’s Saturday night, and I am determined to start this assignment, even though I’m not really looking forward to doing it. But logically thinking, the more I can do of it tonight, the less I have to do on the other nights before it is due. Whether or not, I will listen to my own advice is another story. Exam stress has not yet kicked in. This whole semester I don’t think any sort of stress has kicked in. It’s been very breezy, probably due to the fact that I have only been enrolled in my final 2 subjects. Reality check though; If I don’t pass these final 2 subjects, I am officially SCREWED in graduating because I have run out of steam to continue uni any longer. The little motivation I had left expired approximately a year ago.

I must remember to make an appointment to see the doctor again soon. My health has not been too crash hot as of lately. My friends thought I was crazy not to see a doctor the first time it happened at work, but now it happened again yesterday at work, and I guess I am interested to know why it’s happening. My boss first thought it was epilepsy, but now he thinks I have a vitamin deficiency in my diet, or low blood pressure to cause this thing. I’m just not too keen on seeing the doctors. Firstly, it’s like a $12 hit just to see him which is not overly expensive considering it’s my health/life at stake, but it’s still a factor nonetheless, and secondly, I believe that he gives bad vibes to me. He’s not friendly at all, he doesn’t even ask “How are you?”

Okay enough blabbering, time to get this assignment rolling… Maybe after I have a bite to eat. I’m a bit peckish…

2006-05-28T21:59:00.000+10:00

The days go by, but nothing changes how I feel. Feels like I'm stuck in a really bad routine. As a person, I need change, because I get to comfortable, and my performance lacks. I like routine, and I like familiarity, but I need to get myself out of that comfort box.

It is now less than a month before I finish uni, no career direction is mapped out. All that I think is coming up for me is full time work at Harvey Norman. I havent yet discussed it with my boss, but I think he won't mind the idea at all. In a way I want to work full time as soon as possible, just so I can start earning that weekly wage, but working in an environment such as Harvey Norman also has its downsides. I don't have all that many job responsibilities, so a lot of the time (due to my fault of liking to get things done as soon as I receive a task to do), I am sitting at my desk doing nothing, smiling and daydreaming, about the dream that will never come true.

I have been sitting here listening to Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's Somewhere Over The Rainbow song the whole night. It is so mellow, but I love it. I have got to find some motivation to determine some of my life plan. Need some direction and inspiration. Yet, there's nothing at the moment except for closed doors, and closed minds. I want to get away, I need a holiday.

2006-05-25T16:32:00.000+10:00

Guess who is seeing The Cat Empire play on Monday night for their World Tour Warm Up?
That's right!!!! ME!!!!! I believe I purchased the last 4 tickets. Now if that's not destiny, I don't know what is! Finally, something good to look forward to!

2006-05-23T23:12:00.000+10:00

My favourite time of the day is those last few moments in bed before you drift off to a peaceful slumber. You are warm, wrapped up in blankets, and for the most part, your mind is free from worries. I like the thought of not worrying about something.

Worried about a few things at the moment, the main one being my future. I am fearful of the unknown. Fearful of being lonely. Fearful of being unhappy. One month until I can see university is over. I have one exam on June 16th, and one on June 22nd. After that, I wait for results, and I pass and graduate, or fail miserably. I have to study my ass off soon.

P.S. Happy 22nd birthday to me for the 21st of May. I am getting older, not too sure about wiser though. Maybe losing brain cells instead.

2006-05-12T23:30:00.000+10:00

I would like to ramble tonight. I created this blog with no intention of any intelligent content going in here. No set topic, or set content. No reviews, or views on issues, or philosophical discussions. Nothing of interest will ever be posted on here.

As of lately, I have been mighty confused about my life directions. No set career path, I can't even put my foot down on an industry direction. With one month to finishing my degree, I am getting a little worried about the future. I know I should really be thinking about this properly, or even taking some action to sort some thing out, but at the moment, I'm just taking it as it comes. I have no career aspirations, I just want a job I can be happy in. It's a little stressful not knowing what I want to do with my life.

I know there is something missing in my life. I know exactly what it is. And I know I can't have it. It's like the forbidden fruit. Why is it so hard for me to move on? Why do I always get my hopes up? Why can't I just get over it? I'll talk to anyone about it, and they'll say, "Dude, you deserve better. You deserve someone that is worth your time." But I dwell on the little past that we had. I remember back to the first time he caught my eye. That smile, those eyes... And then my thoughts trail on to the times we went out together.. And I snap back to the harsh reality; A reality where we have nothing together, and probably never will. As I take my work break with him tonight, I think, "Oh my gosh, you are so goddamn fine, why do things have to be the way they are?" How to get over someone... that you really never had anything with? How to build that goddamn bridge and move on with freakin life? How to fill that huge void?

Help...

2006-05-09T22:02:00.000+10:00

First posts are always useless and uninteresting, as I'm pretty sure mine will be. I decided to move from xanga to blogger. Change of scenery I guess. Xanga is actually a pretty small community, I find that there's not many members on there with the same interests as me, so that's why I'm finally making the move.

This year is the year of change for me anyway. Graduating from uni, will need to get a full time job, would like to move out of home depending on financial status, and how well I can plan my budgets. Hopefully I can finally enter adulthood. I don't view myself as independent yet, because I am still living with my parents. Not until I receive that 100% freedom status, will I consider myself a complete adult.

I welcome change.